Struggling.

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Struggling.

Post by Guest on Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:06 am

I have been struggling pretty badly... but have been afraid to tell anyone.

I don't know why that is. I'm human, of course I'm going to struggle. That's the way humans work. Every human struggles with SOMETHING.

I haven't shaved in about a week because I am scared to go anywhere near my razor. I don't want my razor in my hand. If I have a razor in my hand, I fear I will break it and use the blade.

The point is... is that I HAVEN'T. I haven't cut in 159 days (not that I'm counting, or anything. Ha).

So... why am I still ashamed to reach out to someone? I mean, seriously. It's stupid.

I think what's hard is, I moved a little over a month ago... all the way across the country. I don't have my church, and I don't have my friends. Yes, they're still THERE for me, but it's hard when no one is HERE for me. I don't want to mix and mingle, because I am moving next month... back to the other side of the country (instead of back to NC, I am going to TN).

I just... there is so much on my plate right now. And, my thoughts are whirling and twirling... and I don't even know.

I don't want to start cutting again. I really, really, REALLY don't. I just am at a loss as to what else to do. I have done so well with fighting the temptation these last five months. And according to 1 Corinthians 10:13, God won't give me ANY temptation that I can't stand against, and He will ALWAYS give me the tools I need to face it.

Truth is, I miss cutting. I don't think that will ever change.

But, all this being said, I'm okay. I really am. I know I'll make it through; I always have one way or another. I just hate the fact that Satan is playing stupid mind tricks on me.

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Re: Struggling.

Post by Broken-Life on Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:21 am

Hey hun, I am keeping you in my prayers.....The best I can tell you is to keep trying to resist, do everything you can to keep you from cutting hun. Pray about it, sing a silly/happy song, dance like no one is watching you. Do the things you enjoy doing. I am keeping you in my prayers as you struggle hun. Love ya!

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Re: Struggling.

Post by sarah on Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:26 pm

Hey! I am so proud of you for going that long without cutting! Keep fighting because God will help you through it! I'm praying for you!
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Re: Struggling.

Post by Guest on Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:45 pm

Thanks ya'll.

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Re: Struggling.

Post by Steph on Wed Jul 21, 2010 9:42 am

Praying for you girl. And yes, God will give you the strength to fight those temptations. I'm so glad that you are taking action though and staying away from those blades even if it means not shaving for a week! Good job!

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Re: Struggling.

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:59 pm

Never underestimate the God we serve and what He can do. He has the power to do anything He wants to, to turn weakness into strength, to make whole that which has been broken. He CAN heal you completely....why is that so hard to trust sometimes? Not only CAN He do these things...He loves to do it. It makes Him so happy when His precious children allow Him to work in their lives and transform us into what we were meant to be. We serve an awesome God.


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Re: Struggling.

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 22, 2010 7:41 pm

You know what, Dawn? You are so right! I sometimes tend to dwell on the used to be instead of concentrating on the can be. No matter how big my problems are, God will always be bigger. I just need to humble myself and throw away my pride, and seek help when need be instead of trying to do it all completely on my own. I need to stop living my life for the worldly desires of my flesh, and need to start living it for Him, and glorifying His name, not mine!

Thank you for the reminder. Smile

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