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You Don't Have To Be Perfect. You Just Have To Be You. (blog article)

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You Don't Have To Be Perfect. You Just Have To Be You. (blog article) Empty You Don't Have To Be Perfect. You Just Have To Be You. (blog article)

Post by Guest Wed Sep 22, 2010 1:35 pm

http://www.beautifulyoubyjulie.com/2010/09/you-dont-have-to-be-perfect-you-just.html

You Don't Have To Be Perfect. You Just Have To Be You.

I have really mixed feelings about the word perfect. On the one hand it can be a great word to describe a feeling or experience that we thought was perfect - spot on - just right. I'm sure we have all had moments like that in our lives that are really blissful and wonderful. On the other hand, when it comes to ourselves - who we are as a person, how we are living our lives, what we do, and how we look - I think perfect can be quite a dangerous word.

Most us like to strive to do well in our lives. It's human nature. But if you feel we have to do things perfectly all the time or be perfectly behaved or perfectly groomed - it's likely to create a slippery path to mental and emotional torture where nothing you do is good enough. "Striving for perfection is a recipe for failure because it can't be attained. Then, when you invariably fail, you experience feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, anger, frustration and sadness." Being a perfectionist can also mean you expect that level of 'perfectness' from others as well which can quickly be a recipe for driving others away with high expectations.


Often, a drive to be perfect comes from an Inner Mean Girl Voice. That constant nagging inside our head of

'You have to be the best'
'Second is not ok'
'She's perfect. Why can't you be?'

It is, without question, a dangerous inner dialogue to have, that is not helping you to be an amazing and self fulfilled person, rather one that is constantly chasing their tail, trying to keep up, and reaching for something that is relative at best, and non-existant at worse. If you are experiencing an Inner Mean Girl Voice that is constantly pushing and pushing at you to be perfect or to constantly strive to do more than you really can - it's time to give yourself a break. Here are a few tips to help you...

- There is no such thing as a perfect body. Love your body and yourself as you are naturally meant to be with no extreme exercising or dieting. You just being you is enough ok!

- Enjoy the process of aiming for things rather than just racing and placing pressure on yourself to get an end result. It's true what they say about the journey, rather than the destination, as often being the greatest source of happiness in achieving.

- Don't be so hard on yourself. About anything. Loving yourself means knowing that your 'best' is likely to be different from week to week, day to day. You cannot be expected to be at your absolute best every single day of your life. We all have down days and days where we just need to stay in our pyjama's. And boy - is that ok.

- Slow things down a little. Striving to achieve all the time can often mean we are in a perpetual state of hurriedness. We lose sight of lots of other wonderful things that may be happening around us that we could take joy from.

- Take time out for you whenever you know you really need it. Don't ignore those signs of stress and worry when you know deep down you need to take a break and go for a walk, unplug your phone or laptop or simply take a long shower. That's your body and mind (and heart) saying - "Hey! What about ME! I need you to show ME some love."

Amazing to think how quickly time flies by when we are tackling your Inner Mean Girl Voice. Addressing perfectionism now brings us to the end of Week Four of our Six Week online school. I hope it inspires you to give yourself a little break.

~Julie

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