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Post by Guest on Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:00 am

One of my main problems is that I don't know how to tap into my resources.
You girls all say that you are there when I need you, yet I refuse to lean on you when I need support.
I don't know nor understand why I do this, as everyday I seem to get worse and worse trying to fall back into my shell of comfort, away from the world of healing and freedom.

Even in the "real" world, people (whom I guess genuinely care) ask me How I am, and every time I answer "pretty good", no matter the turmoil that is happening inside. Today, I realized that probably is because I don't want to bring anyone down, I don't know when to talk about my life and when people are just being courteous, and I don't feel that people need to hear my burdens. It's my fault I bear them, they don't need to worry about them.

I can see myself slowly putting on a mask for everyone, including the people I have grown close to. I don't want this to happen, but I don't know how to stop it.

I guess the main points I'm trying to get across are that I need to be open about my life and still be able to discern when that isn't appropriate.

I don't want to go back to the hidden me, but subconsciously I think I do....

Thanks for listening/reading,
Katie

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Post by Ally on Tue Oct 05, 2010 2:09 am

Yeah, I completely understand that. It took along time for me to be able to be open about how I really am.
Even now I frequently find myself appoligising for being a burden.
It happens with time, small steps toward being able to say when things aren't okay.
Just remember that you'll never be a burden to anyone here.
We all love you and want to support you
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Post by Broken-Life on Tue Oct 05, 2010 6:46 am

im praying for you katie, i love you hunnn.
heavenly father, i ask that you be with katie lord, i pray that you would comfort her, lord i pray that you would help her in this time, lord help her to lean on you and trust you in all you do lord, i pray that you would hold her tightly in your arms lord, keep her from falling back into her shell lord, make her strong in your strength. I ask this is in your name. Amen

ill keep praying for katie
(((hugs)))

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Post by Steph on Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:34 pm

I hear what you are saying Katie. I think it takes practice to be able to discern what to disclose and what to not. It also takes time to learn how to really trust people enough to open up and be genuine with people. Keep working at it and build that trust little by little. Take little steps. Smile

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