Cry out. [trigger]

I don't know if I'm allowed to post about these feelings,
if not, delete it. But it isn't a threat. Just how low I feel.

I never thought it would get this bad. I always had so much hope.
I always though suicide was a selfish way out.
But right now, I can't see any other option.
I don't want to do it.
& I'm reaching out for ever single last help I can find.
But, it's been so long coming, and the feels are lasting so long.
It looks like I wont be going to uni because I don't have the grades.
Without being able to do psychology, my life is pointless, suriving was pointless, and holding on was pointless.
Cutting stopped helping.
None of the techniques they gave me help.
I have to wait 2 weeks for my new counselling to state because my psychologist has gone away.
Trying to call out to God, but it seems to be falling on deaf ears.
I don't want to do this anymore.

I know exactly how you feel, sweetie. I'm not going to go into details because this post isn't about me, but I will say this... In times when you feel like suicide is the only way out, think about how your death would effect the people around you. Really think about it. It's hard to think about, I'm not going to lie, but it will really make things real. I will say that without a doubt that if anything happened to you, every single girl on this forum would be devistated, me included. One last thought, suicide is permenant. Suicide takes away every other option out there. Once it's done, there is no taking it back. I love you and I am here for you if you need to talk. I'm praying for you!!

ally i love you sweetie, know that i am praying for you. Suicide is not the way out no matter how much it may seem like it is. Your death would effect all the ones who love you and want to help you. I know there isnt much i can do other than pray so thats what im doing for you sweetie!

Praying for yoy hun ... Here if you need HUGS!!!

Ally, baby, I love you SO MUCH, girl.

Please, God, give Ally strength to make it through this trying time... help her see and know that she deserves better, that she IS better, that there is light at the end of the tunnel... Oh Lord, give her strength...

Sweetie, I love you so much, hun, and like Alyssa said, it would devastate me and I'm sure everyone else on here if you died. We are ALL here for you, if you need us, and I'm happy to arrange a time when we can chat if you want- we seem to be in relatively the same time zones anyways. Just PM me or email me, whichever you prefer, if you want to.

Remember Psalms 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

Love you sweetie. *BIG HUGS*

Ally when do you start holidays..???

And hun, i agree with everyone that has spoken.. But i also talk to you every night, and i just want you to know that i will be greatly broken if you gave up. and suicided.. I would be shattered.. I was shattered when i lost my friends last year, but i have known you SO much longer then them. And i would be lost.. I love you Ally soooooo much, and i just wish i could fly out right now to be with you, to keep you distracted, to hold you as you cried, to be a listening ear in person.. and i live in another state, and i still wish i was there right now..

i love you so much... we have talked about this hun... i love you so so much

Love yourselves a little bit today!!
I am free.

Life is a life of choice.

I live for today.

I stay in the moment.

I am ok just the way I am.

Today I am content with my life.

Today I keep it simple.

I am willing.

I live one day at a time.

I am not alone.

I am ok.

I embrace the journey.

My mind is clear.

I am safe.

I accept myself just as I am.

I respect, love and care for my body.

Quote: "Without being able to do psychology, my life is pointless, suriving was pointless, and holding on was pointless."

Girl, hun, you've got it all wrong! As a believer your life is NEVER pointless. So who cares if you never get to do psychology, do you think that's a surprise to God? He may have something sooooooo much bigger up his sleeve for you! Life isn't about doing what we want to do but following the Lord and submitting and surrendering ourselves to His plan for us. We miss out on so much when we hold onto things that we want and don't let God be God and have His way in our lives.

With lots of love,
Steph

P.S. If you want to talk, message me on facebook.

I echo Steph's post!
I thought my life was so pointless when my mom didn't want me to got to university in virginia where my boyfriend was going.
But honestly, I am so thankful. Because him and I aren't together anymore, and I'm at a university where I thought I'd never be at...but I understand now why God put me there.
God has a beautiful, perfect, awesome plan for your life! It sucks when your plans don't work out, but God's plans are so much greater and bigger for you than yours are.
Love you, and am praying for you!

Thanksgirls, i love you heaps




*SI TRIGGER*
It's really annoying me, I can't hurt myself enough to satisfy the craving. Everything is too lbunt or small. I don't know if anything less than killing myself will satisfy it. It's almost like, the craving and the hurt inside wants to win. They want to hurt me more than anyone else has or can. So no one's ability to hurt me is more than my ability to hurt myself.
I know the devils got a hold of my life right now & isn't letting go, but i dont have the strength to fight him off.
Trying to let God do that, but it doesn't seem to be working

Oh, Ally, my heart is crying out to you!
You are on the right track with letting God take control. He will deliver you and heal you and love you!
I will be praying for you, and I'm here if you need to talk more!