struggling

no need to be sorry!!

I don't know what to do. I am on prohibation this semester because I failed a math class last semester and my GPA wasn't high enough. And as of now, my GPA is still pretty far behind where it needs to be so I can keep my academic scholarship next semester. If I don't get it up idk what I'm going to do. College is the only stable thing in my life right now. I need it. I need the community and I really need the classes and everything so I have something to focus on. I know without a doubt in my mind that I'm where I'm supposed to be school-wise and studying what God wants me to study. Then why is nothing working out? Part of me just wants to give up because I never succeed at anything anyway. And then there's still all the crap going on with my dad. And work is owning my life because its Christmas time. I work over 40 hours next week and that's finals week and the Christmas performance that weekend at my church which I have a pretty big part in. Unfortunately. And I have to be focused. I'm definitely not. I'm falling apart. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't pray about anything because God is so far away. I guess that's my fault too because I've been screwing everything up. I hate my life right now and really I shouldn't. Aside from the family stuff that's going on, everything else is okay. I have 2 good jobs and great friends. I don't know. I don't know how to feel or what to say and I'm sure this doesn't make sense. Sorry..

again hun, please dont be sorry..
wish i could say something helpful or do something,,,
thinking of u and praying 4 u,.. xxx

Steph wrote:How bout'.....

Loved
Precious
Saved by Grace
Beautiful
Daughter of the King of Kings!

Amen

Sometimes, the way we feel doesn't really make sense...and I know that I myself feel guilty for being sad or upset when everything seems to be going right in my life.
But we can't control how we feel - emotions are out of our grasp, they just come and go, hitting us like a wave.
The good part is that we're here to listen to you if you ever need to talk.
I know life seems kind of chaotic now, but God is in control with whatever happens.
I'll be praying for you.

This is impossible. I can't do this...

hun, what is it you feel you cant do??
because... you can do all this,, you can deal with the horrible situation you are in..
praying for you

I can't really do anything at the moment. I can't think straight. I'm always making people mad. And I cut again. I shouldn't have. I didn't even try to stop. I just did it.

Just wanted to share the words of a song that inspires me right now:

Clinging to the Cross
Brooke Fraser and Tim Hughes

My soul is weak
My heart is numb
I cannot see
But still my hope is found in You
I'll hold on tightly
You will never let me go
For Jesus, You will never fail
Jesus, You will never fail
Simply to the cross I cling
Letting go of earthly things
Clinging to the cross
Mercy's found a way for me

Hope is here as I am free

Jesus, You are all I need
Clinging to the cross
Even darkness is as light to You, my Lord
So light the way and lead me home
To that place where every fear is wiped away
For Jesus, You will never fail