SI addiction *maybe triggering*

Ok so I don't know if anyone else notices but I believe that SI is an addication. I started at 14. I was doing it on and off for 3 years then grade 11 and 12 came and went I didn't do it til the summer after I graduated. I believe it can be an addiction if you don't have the willpower to stop. I know that it's wrong and I will never do it again. But I feel it's an addication because I would do it on and off again. Do I believe there might be a time when I will do it again, yes I actually believe that because I now believe my whole life revolves around my last SI attempt. If I hadn't done anything in Nov. I wouldn't be in the postion of having to take Gen arts and science at college right now I'd still be in CYW with all the great people I made friends with and I'd be heading off to placement soon. But instead I will have to start first year of CYW again in september that is if I get in. I haven't gotten my acceptance letter yet, should be getting it by the end of the month. So does anyone else believe that SI is an addication? It is if you don't have the willpower to stop yourself I truly believe that.

I believe it has addictive qualities. A good book to read regarding addiction is Addiction: A Banquet in the Grave by Ed Welch. It really gave me a new perspective on addiction.

I shared this quote on my facebook but I'll share it here as well....

"For believers, freedom is not defined as the absence of temptation and sinful desires; rather, freedom in Christ means it is now possible for us to fight against, deny, and put to death those sinful desires...Freedom is not the absence of temptation; it is the increasing ability to choose holiness out of love for Christ, desipte the relentlessness of temptation."

Self-injury addiction is the same thing as, let's just say, heroin addiction. I was addicted to self-injury for five years, I broke the cycle June 29, 2010. Inflicting pain on yourself causes a chemical change in your brain, which alters your mood, and gives you that addrenaline rush, or "high."

sorry i didn't get to respond sooner but I had computer problem and I like what godsbabygirl said and believe shes right. when I orginally wrote this I think i was just coming to terms of how harmful it was. I never went deep but something struck me when I had an Independent evaluation when the person said as babygirl said it's maybe a chemical imbalance. I don't think that's the case with me I think its when things get overwhelming I crack. I know I have a brain injury but the brain injury didn't cause the depression i had depression before the brain injury.