kinda stuggling today..

wow so i threw my blade out last sunday and today im really triggered been keeping myself busy but its hard ive been praying alot to god is truely amazeing and he is helping me through this but i just hate being triggered my grandma is always nagging me about the baby well EVERYbody is always nagging me about the baby i didnt have a jacket on him the other night and we had something at the church and all the old women were nagging me cuz i didnt have one on him i have very low self esteem about my parenting i feel like a HORRIBLE mom to zayden and when everyone nags me about things it makes me feel worse then eventually i am triggered and then i self injure and i know none of these people know that i feel like a bad mom and that i self injure so they dont know what their words do to be emotionally and eventually physically (even tho the physical part isnt their fault) it sucks tho cause im starting to resent the baby and i shouldnt resent him he is my child and i do love him more then anything in this world but i just dont understand what im doing so wrong at least im not beating him he is ALWAYS clean and he always smells good and i just dont understand why they act like im such a bad parent....sorry girls i just really needed to let these feelings out and stuff so i wasnt so tempted to SI typeing and writeing really helps so thanks for reading
Felicia

We will fall down but don't just stay there we have to get back up. So don't let the enemy get you down. The Lord is faithful, lean on Him during tough times.

thanks dawn i got through it and im better now its been 2 weeks since i last SIed and it feels sooo good

Awesome girl!!!

fefe wrote:it feels sooo good

ok today was a horrible day i lashed out on several people and i have been soooo angry that i cant stand myself girls i wanna cut so bad i wanna give up on life and everything idk right now i mean i know that god is gonna help me through this but ts so hard i just feel like i cant take it anymore