Tomorrow came so fast

So tomorrow will be 3 years with out my lil brother. He committed suicide. I am not all that sad about it, its just that its still kinda hard to take some things in. I know he is in a much better place. He got away from his abusive family. e is not biologically related to me. He was going through so much stuff and he wanted a friend. I became his friend, his sister. He looked up to me. We would talk on the phone for hours. We would eat our lunches together. but that all ended on a monday morning. that day i never saw him. I never saw him that week. I went to go email him, but when i saw my inbox and the title said "Sorry about Dillion" a feeling fell over me like a sea of dead. When i read it I went hysterical. I lost all touch of reality. He was dead for a week and I didn't know, but it was his request that i find out after school on a friday so that i could finish my schooling that week. Little did he realize or would have realized it hurt me more then ever to find out a week later then it would that day. I feel so lost and so no on earth I couldn't eat. all i did was sleep. To this day that message haunts me. I am not sure if its normal or not. I am not all that sad just hard to take in and accept what can't be undone.