I miss you Grandma & maybe a *trigger?*

My grandma- dad's mom- died just over 2 weeks ago, and ever since she died, I've locked-up. I won't talk to anyone, and this is the first time that I actually have "talked" to anyone. I'll go back to school tomorrow- I've missed 2 weeks of school, am way behind, and really hope i get sick, or i'll force myself to as I don't wanna go back. I cut, and have cut at least once a day since I heard that she died. I didn't get to say goodbye, and we were really close. I attempted suicide about 8 months ago, but got out of the hospital quickly. I'm not really sure what to do with my life right now. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hun, instead of being upset, remember the good times you two had. You shouldn't lock yourself up. If she was suffering you should feel somewhat at ease that she isn't suffering anymore. I know this feeling all to well hun. I had grandfather die who was my dads father, we were extremely close. For awhile I was sad about it then I thought he wouldn't want to be sad and lock myself up. He would want me to remember the good times I had with him and celebrate the life he once had. I know its hard when people die, but God knows what he is doing. Lean on God and let him help you through this mourning process hun. *hugs* inbox me if you need too.

Hun its understandable that you are up set but the best thing to do is to ready and get back to normal as much as you are able to. things will never be the same but you can still live and go on with life. I remember having a reaction like yours when my grandma past away a few years back. I was lost i didnt know what to do but now I try very day to make her proud of who I am and who I am becoming.