Help me.... **possible trigger**

I can't fight this, I can't. I just want to harm so bad, I want to feel something, anything. I've been numb for 99% of the last week an a half, and when I haven't been numb, I've been extremely triggered or both..

I just want to see my blood and feel pain that I'm causing, not the world...

I want my blades back, I don't know why I was stupid to throw them away...

I want the images and flashbacks and horrible dreams to go away....

I want my parents to stop being so annoying....

I want my life to be good again, I want to be back at AU, where people truly love me....

I want to be held when I cry, I want a hug.....I just want to be loved...

Katie Jo I LOVE YOU!!!! I know you have been fighting really hard and Im very proud of you.I wish there was more I could do to help.Im here for you but I may not always know what to say..while I may fail at those two things remeber that God wont.. (((((((((((((((((((KOJO)))))))))))))))

love you too.. thanks...

Any time love .. What are friends for!!! RARW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey girl. I'm really sorry that you are struggling right now. Don't question throwing the blades out. That wasn't stupid it was great! I'm praying for you!

(((((katie)))))
i love you sweetie. Im keeping you in my prayers and i have faith that you can get through this hun. I know its hard for you right now, i know exactly how you feel sweetie. im here for you any time. I love you katie. Im praying for you and we are rooting for you to get through this. Love you

Thanks girls, I'm still really struggling... I just don't know what to do anymore.

I stood in the shower just holding the razor, debating whether I should break it apart or not for about 10 minutes... I didn't, but I kinda wish I would have now..

I'm so proud of you for not doing that! I know you can beat this. God isn't going to let you fall. I love you!

I love you hun!!!! Im so glad that you didnt take the razor apart ... be safe plz

You are sooo loved Katie!!! We are all behind you!!! I would give you all the hugs in the world if I could. Just know that we are here.

Thanks all...

Last night was really really rough. I feel like I've been hit by a train...and today I have to work for 5.5 hours and then I have VBS leading to do for 3 hours after that.... ugh

I just want to curl up on my bed and cry/sleep...

Katie I want to tell you that I am VERY proud of you ... I love you and Im here for you no matter what. Txt if you need idc what time. But above all remember that God is always there, holding you up when you are down and wiping away your tears. (((((((((((((KOJO)))))))))))))

((((((katie))))))
you can get through this. I'm am still praying for you. I know this is rough, but you will get through this with the lords help.

lord i pray that you would be with katie, lord she is struggling so much right now, lord i pray that you would wrap your loving arms around her lord. Please carry her through the storm and hold her in your arms while she is struggling. Lord we can pray for her and thats what i intend to do. Please help her through these difficult times, help her to lean on you is the storms. Guide her and heal her soul and pain. Please lord i ask this in your holy name. Amen.

ill continue to pray for you love.

katie, you are so loved...
i love you hun
xxxxxxx

Thanks Ladies. I wish I could say I was feeling better, but I'm not going to lie to you guys..

You don't have to lie to any of us - and especially not God. He knows exactly what you're going through, and He's waiting for you to meet Him. I am praying for you!

i agree ^^ you dont have to lie to us and most importantly god. i am still praying for you. I know God will carry you through it all and he will help you get through it. Sendin love and hugs
xxxxxx

day 0....sorry ladies

please just pray that i'll have the motivation to dust myself off and try again...

I'm praying for you hun! I know you can do it!

I Love You Katie Jo!!! I have faith in you that you will.Keep trying you only fail when you dont get back up.. Yours still my beauitful hero!!!

i still and always will love you!
praying for you beautiful katie