I guess it works here..

So as you can tell my the title I wasn't so sure where I should post this. Well tomorrow is my birthday. You would think I would be happy, excited, or feeling something. I have no good feelings. Just one more year on this miserable planet. I've been struggling a lot lately. I have not kept you updated and I am sorry for that, I just haven't really had time. I work 8-5 and usually come home and go to sleep becuase I have had killer migraines everyday. But a brief and I mean brief and not everything will be included, but in the past month, my uncle has been diagnosed bipolar, addicted to coke (and is on probation), tested positive for coke (obviously that was going to happen), and got put back in jail. On top of having lesions on his brain and we don't know why yet. My gram who has always been my safe haven is so depressed and not sure what to do. With my uncle getting put back in jail she is saying it's just like another death (after my other uncles suicide). My other grandma had heart surgery and is pretty much wanting to die. Her husband has been in and out of the hospital. Found out my little brother is using drugs too. My sister is in a horrible relationship and she is my best friend. There are so many other things going on. I can't even name them all. But I have been losing my faith in everything. I no longer pray. I have very little faith if any in God and I don't know if I have ever been here before. I am not sure how to take it, what to think of it..I'm just not sure of anything really. Sorry I know this is just a ramble. Not expecting replies just needed to say it somewhere..

I'm praying for you, sweetie. I'm here if you need me.

Wow that's a lot to handle Court. I can understand why your struggling, I think anyone would struggle with all of that. My advice to you is don't stop fighting! Don't try to go through this alone. I know when bad things happen in our life, we tend to blame God and question "where is He". God is still there and in control of it all even when we can't see it and don't understand what in the world He is up to! I'd rather go through all that with God than to deny Him and go through it denying His presence in my life. We love you girl, please keep us updated on these things and we will be praying.

Yeah and I get that. But I have never really had a good relationship with God so I am not even sure how to go about it. But I did get some good news today. My uncle had a court date today and he is being released. He had to go to rehab for the drug addiction and then house arrest and all that jazz but he is out of jail and I think that is what he needed (he was talking and saying some pretty scary stuff about not making it and making it sound pretty suicidal which is normal with bipolar) but he is going to get the help he needs...but as for everything else it still sucks..