:) :) :) :) :)

by Lizzie Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:56 pm

hey girls!!
im back from my un intentional break!!!

i really want to say sorry and to explain whats been going on recently.

so... ive pretty much abandoned you guys since the 1st of april... my mum kicked me out on the 1st of april.. nothing really happened. just years of arguments and upset finally she tol me to go.. so i did.. ive not had a huge ammount of internet at my friends house..

so a really good friend took me in. she knew about all my problems. she knew about the cutting and the nightmares, depression and the sexual abuse. i felt safe !! Smile

so i moved in with her and her family and im shairing a room with a 3 yearold and a 5 yearold. has its ups and downs but the girls are great and feeling safe is amazing! Smile

after i moved out, i realised how bad things bad become. i was taken to the dr because of nightmares and depression. i was put on different antidepressants. and sleeping tablets. so i was being well looked after. i was having problems at college where i couldnt cope. i just couldnt. so failing at college pretty badly.

my relationship with mum was non existant. with dad it was a little better... that was untill they went threw my room and found out about the cutting.. but as my parents always do, they put thir heads in the sand and didnt ask me about it after i told them it wasnt a big deal.

just over a month ago, i got a phone call from the police. they wanted to come round and talk to me. with this, i freaked out. i broke down. i had a pannic attack. i phoned my friends mum and she came round as soon as she could get away from work. she came over and the police came too. i freaked out even more. i thought i was going to be sick so i ran upstairs to the bathroom. i went back down and froze. just froze.. so she said we arnt going to get anywhere today so il come back another day.

so whilst i was freaking out about all the police stuff, my gran was really ill and died last week. Crying or Very sad

she was an amazing lady. compleetly inspiring. my gran Crying or Very sad

we had her funeral on tuesday. it was so painful.. im still crying as im writing this. pale

R.I.P gran.

so yesterday, i get the police here again. a friend of mine went to the police because the same person that sexually abused me and raped me... did the same to her... she was so brave to tell the police.. now, they need my evidence to have a chance of going to court and put him where he cant hurt anyone else again... so i have to now give evidence of something that happened 4 years ago.. to be nice to me, they do a video statment. so i only have to say things once.. ive never been able to say anything that he did to me. ive not even been able to say his name. i just dont know what i can do. the police lady is amazingly nice. so theres a part of me that thinks i can do the statment but i dont think i can carry on with anything after that.

so ive had a CRAZY few months!!! its been such an emotional rolocoster... im really sorry ive not been here for you guys... hope you can forgive me... il try catch up on posts... ive missed you guys and the forum.

lots of love
Lizzie
(helen)