Why do i feel numb? possible trigger

My twin sister died last year, 2 days before our birthday (end of march). I attempted suicide 2 months (mid-may) after that. Then, last fall (mid-august), my other sister/sibling died. I then attempted suicide about 2 or 3 weeks before Thanksgiving. I lost my biological dad early February. My grandma died end of February. My mom and her twin sister died early march. I am a true orphan. no siblings. no parents. no aunts. no uncles. no cousins. i live with a family from my church which i try ti get out of attending, and the family doesn't force me, although i am "forced" to attend the youth group meetings which i hate......... i just always feel numb, and just can't seem to be anything but numb, but I'm not sure why i'm always numb, not sad or angry, just numb.

Hi Broken-girl121. I'm Krystal. This past end of March, April I too was numb. I haven't had as much loss as you and im sorry for all your losses. But being numb sometimes is a good thing, it's a coping mechanism of sorts. You can't feel because you don't know what you should feel. I had a different loss. I was terminated from work placement and it was my dream job to work as a child and youth worker, it was second attempt at the program.

I couldn't feel anything, I still can't cry over my loss even though i've tried crying so many times but nothing, someone told me it's because im dealing with my medical condition which causes me to really stress out.

Broken girl, it breaks my heart that you have been through so much! So much hurt and heartache. Take time to grieve and heal from these losses. We are here for you.